In short:
Some more details:
Also according the psychologist of marriages J.M. Gottman, there are three types of marriages, or couples relations.
1) The Domination type.
2) The Competition type
3) The Cooperation type.
In the domination type on of the two is dominating the other. The positive emotions of the dominator may create negative emotions to the dominated. But the positive emotions of the dominated do not create negative emotions to the dominating (win-lose). Such mariages may be stable but usually unhappy, and sometimes with violence.
In the competition type, the positive emotions of each usually create negative emotions to the other, and vice-versa (lose-lose). Such relations or marriages lead very fast to divorce.
In the cooperation type , the positive emotions of each create positive emotions to the other and vice-versa (win-win) . Such marriages are not only stable but also happy. Usually they start with sex, pass, to falling in love, and result to friendship and love. Each one has space in his/herself for the self of the other as if he/she was his/her own self.
The choices of the details of sexual practice, and the modes
of a couples life, like monogamy, polygamy etc are entirely the responsibility
of the involved individuals and are not forced by religions, society or
other groups. The erotic life usually involves modes of physical sex,
"falling in romantic love", and long-term partnership. The erotic
life is liberated from fear, feelings of guilt, humiliation, superstitions,
lies, pretence and deception. The erotic life is compatible with the basic values of the individual and the society. There are not true erotic relations against
the will of one of the involved or without truth and sincerity. Unavoidably the couples life, either as monogamy or polygamy, is based on an explicitly conscious agreement (possibly renewable) that is to
be respected, (until re-validation). This liberated
erotic life is the true condition for satisfaction, happiness, peace and
absence of violence in intimate relations. Happy and fulfilled erotic life is
the base of creativity, and non-violent, prosperous society.
Some more details:
Monogamy is an easier erotic life, and it can also involve deeply the soul. Neverthless it is a rare case (1%-10%).
Polygamy, and hidden (secret) polygamy, is a much more common reality (90%-99%) , but it is emotionally difficult, especially when there is not maturity; while it converges often to intimate friendship.
The issue of the power balance in the couple is never to be underestimated. In a polygamist couple, the side that has higher "score" in (secret or not) polygamy (in contacting sexually third persons) has greater emotional resilience and power. So this creates power imbalance and domination in the couple.
The statistical majority of people live, a bit in an iterated sequential monogamy, and mainly in (mainly secret) polygamy, clothed as if in monogamy.
The keys for a non-violent happy life in intimate relations. ( 1. Truth, and respect of any explicit agreements for the time interval agreed, plus love free from 2. lies, 3. fear, 4. humiliation, 5. guilt, 6. pretence. 7. violence ).
The upper-stratosphere of the intimate relations is reached with the above 6-keys. (Upper-statosphere=the upper part of the atmosphere above which there are not cloud-based weather phenomena at all, like storms, rain, thunders , lightnings etc)
Sexual practice is shaping sensitivity, the subconscious and social interactions.
According to the researcher
Helen Fisher, the 3 dimensions of the erotic life, that utilize ,
3
different areas in the human brain and the nervous system are
1)Physical sex,
2) Falling in love (the other persons
becomes the unique centre of your emotional world) ,
3) Long-term partnership.
Experiencing of each one separately, seems to be much easier than succeeding in combining all
the three.
Legal
agreements in the couple are at best a bit relevant only to 3), not to 1) and
2)
Also according the psychologist of marriages J.M. Gottman, there are three types of marriages, or couples relations.
1) The Domination type.
2) The Competition type
3) The Cooperation type.
In the domination type on of the two is dominating the other. The positive emotions of the dominator may create negative emotions to the dominated. But the positive emotions of the dominated do not create negative emotions to the dominating (win-lose). Such mariages may be stable but usually unhappy, and sometimes with violence.
In the competition type, the positive emotions of each usually create negative emotions to the other, and vice-versa (lose-lose). Such relations or marriages lead very fast to divorce.
In the cooperation type , the positive emotions of each create positive emotions to the other and vice-versa (win-win) . Such marriages are not only stable but also happy. Usually they start with sex, pass, to falling in love, and result to friendship and love. Each one has space in his/herself for the self of the other as if he/she was his/her own self.
